Blog Post from 7/9/09

My new FREIND Jim --he lives on he streets near my home in Egg Harbor Twp, NJ he claims he does not drink or not much anymore but for now I am  giving him the benefit of the doubt, But we have devolved a friendly rapport. I feel his biggest need right now is he health. He is always yellow (more orange then yellow really) I have known his about three months but have really gotten closer to him in the past month. It started out I over heard him on the phone one day saying to someone I would love to have the day work but I can't  get there as I have no bus money.I walked up to him and ask him how much the bus was he told me $2.50, I gave him the money and also gave him one of the Mc d  gift  cards I keep my wallet for the homeless  guys around me, I  told him to get something to eat and go get the bus and get to work. He thanked me but he seemed a bit puzzled. LOL Next time I saw him he didn't know who I was I and said wellllllllllll I'm  hurt and kind of tapped him on the shoulder pretending to hit him. he laughed and said he would say hello next time if I promised not to beat him up again and so it began. Our friendship grew from there. He now ducks when he sees me pretending I will hit him or yells "don't beat me please"  to embarrass   me in front of people. LOL I ask him how he is  feeling and point out his yellow color is good or bad that day. He  tells me he went to the client and they tell him he doesn't have hepatitis  nor liver disease  ( but I beg to differ on this one). He also has shown me his legs which are swollen, and I told  him to pull up his socks to not have them tight on his legs which makes it worst. (PS I'm a nurse by profession) when he got sun burned I told him to get milk and let he get warm in the sun and take  milk soaked paper towels and lay them on his skin , he told me later it worked. but he admitted he thought I was a bit nuts or playing a joke on him LOL!One day we even had lunch together and chatted a bit about what happened and how he became homeless. To date I have not promised him anything,  but  we just chat and I  bounce ideas and some advice off on him. I see him almost everyday unless he has doctors appts or appts at SS. or I'm busy with other things. Once I gave him bus fare to the SS office which he seems to be able to handle the meetings so far by himself. But I do have a call into the Jewish family services that helps transport homeless and people in need and advocate for them (which they have some clout and can move more papers then the average duck) Right now I'm cautious with him not to promise him anything or take him in my car alone, he ask me all the time where I live but I remain vague about it. I have to be careful also because I can be known to enable and want to help him help himself and not just be a free ride for him. If he wants help I will try to help him but I try hard not to do it all for him.I'm trying very hard to find what his abilities are and what he can and really cant do for himself. Also I want to feel secure he is serious about wanting to change his life. He is not dumb by any means. and he can do a lot for himself but he needs to be encouraged and he has voiced that he feels lucky to have met me so he can bounce things off me. I almost cried when he said that. When I do give him money I say to him if you have to drink I understand but I would really appreciate him using it for something else he might need. Like food, bus fare, minutes on his phone.  Most of the time I give him gift cards and I explain to him I cant always give him money or cards as I am not rich but I will share when I can. I'm trying to teach him that sometimes a chat is all he will get from me that day. as I want to help him but not support him. My goal is to get more involved  in helping him get  some kind of treatment for his health issues,  helping him  get his disability and  maybe helping him reach his goal in getting an apt. which he talks about all the time. and long  a term goal is  his SSD.I'm well aware that he is not always telling me the whole story but that's ok for now. I do make a point of letting him know I'm married, In fact once when I was at Mc ds with my mother he came in and sat at the table next  us. We were talking and my Hubby  called me on my cell , I ask him to stop by and meet Jim. Which he did and we all had lunch together.I have to say I no  longer call him the bum or the homeless guy I call him Jim my friend.