Football, Four-Wheelers, Fair-Weather Friends, and Family

Bobby moves to Georgia:

Bobby, one of the original three gentlemen we attempted to help out there on highway 6 and I-10, appeared at our office telling us he was out of money, and that his former boss owed him $2,000 of unpaid wages

Bobby has always made it very difficult for us to help. My dad and I have had countless discussions on what we can do to help Bobby, but in the end, we realize that we can't help someone who isn't willing to do the work it takes to get off the street.

To try and explain the dynamics of helping someone who is homeless, is very difficult. Tim and I find ourselves trying to describe what it's like quite often.

Helping the homeless, in my experience, is like rescuing someone who can't swim, from drowning. The person you are trying to help must listen and let you take control for awhile. They must learn that their way of thinking/living (sinking) has gotten them ON the street, and maintaining those thoughts and actions won't get them off. They have to learn to let other people 'think' for them for awhile. If, during the rescue, the receiver of help decides to start doing things their own way, they will soon find themselves drowning and pull the rescuer down with them. As a rescuer, you MUST learn when to let go. We learned this the hard way with John, as we tried to hold on, but in doing so hurt everyone involved.

So, Bobby has been a fair-weather friend of PTB. He is our friend when he needs help. We find ourselves justifying the expenses we give to him, because we want the best for him. We gave him temporary housing for a month, as a reward for him getting employment. We paid for two months of his cell phone, when he was searching for a job. The problem however, is I often catch him lying about his drinking. I love Bobby to death, but he can't see what's realy keeping him down. He wants so bad to have a normal life, a normal job, a normal relationship --- things we all want. But he wants it alongside the alcohol. What he hasn't yet realized is that, as an alcoholic, he can't possibly have both. It's like oil and water. It doesn't mix. PTB Principle: If the participant doesn't see the barrier in front of them, there is no way we can help them remove it.

So, despite Bobby's conditional love for PTB, our love for him is unconditional. MommaD (my mom) went to the phones looking for friends and neighbors who could employ Bobby and his girlfriend Jennifer. Not more than a few hours later, I spoke with Tim's boss, who offered to pay Bobby $80 for the day to help move some furniture. Bobby was not only on time, but early to do the work. I was very proud of him, and excited to see him back in 'work mode'.

At mid-day, Jennifer shows up at our office, drops off a few bags (all of Bobby's belongings) and tells us Bobby no longer has a place to stay.

My father and I had a long discussion about what to do with Bobby. As much as we wanted to help him again, we knew he wasn't making the right decisions to do right with whatever help we gave him. He wasn't urgently looking for work, he was expecting others to find it for him. If we gave him another month of housing, it was hard to imagine he would really give it his all to get a job. My father and I could not agree on what to do, so I decided to spend some time with Bobby to determine if PTB resources would truly be utilized by Bobby to get himself off the street, or if they would be wasted by simplly postponing the inevitable. Again, we can only provide the tools. . . if the participants don't use the tools, then we are wasting resources on someone when there is another out there on the street who will actually utilize these resources to get off the street. It's not easy, but it's the right thing to do. If we welcomed anyone and everyone, we would be as broke as the shelters. This is what makes PTB different: discernment.

Tim, Bobby and I went to run some errands. A friend of mine was donating items for the PTB house and clothes for our participants. We passed Academy distribution center. A huge sign was lit up: 'Now Hiring'. Tim, with excitement in his voice, turned to Bobby: "Look, they're hiring", to which Bobby shrugged his shoulders as if disinterested. My heart sank. This wasn't looking good.

As we arrived at my friend's house, and packed the van full of donated goodies, he informed us that he had an extra bike and wondered if we had any use for it. I turned to Bobby, certain he would take the bike, as he just lost his transportation, and said: "Bobby, you could use a bike". Bobby said: 'Naw, where am I gonna put it". No 'thank you for the offer', and no consideration of how he could make this work for him.

Contemplations of whether I should pay for Bobby's hotel stay that night began to diminish. He was proving to me that he was not willing to help himself. As we headed to dinner, Tim asked Bobby if he wanted to come onto the PTB Chatroom that night and discuss his troubles with the community to get feedback and help. Bobby decided to just go home instead. He said: "I really just need to relax and think about all this" to which I responded "Bobby, you don't have time to think, you need to start taking action, bud."

Bobby made enough money from that day of work to pay for his hotel that night, and Tim bought him dinner.  We all agreed to reconnect the next day to see what we were going to do.

The next day, Bobby was on a greyhound bus headed for the home of a person who has been repeatedly banned from our chatroom. We'll leave it at that.

I hope Bobby will see the cycle his life keeps repeating, and he'll finally find the motivation to break this cycle, and start doing the hard work we all have to do to survive in this world. If and when this change comes about, PTB will be here to help.

Tim's first Thanksgiving off the street in a long time. . .

Tim joined the Dolan family for Thanksgiving this weekend. It started off with the turkey bowl, a traditional football game my family participates in. Tim and I 'accidentally' came unprepared to play football, but we did toss the pigskin around for a few hours while everyone else played.  Turns out Tim's got a pretty good arm and he's a great receiver.

(Tim and I throwing the football around)

After the Turkey Bowl, we went out, further west of Katy, where the family was meeting. Tim had his first ever Deep Fried Turkey. Yum! :)

(Tim tasting his first fried turkey)

(Riding 4 Wheeler)

Yesterday, Tim and I found ourselves on vacation, with a whole day of relaxing to enjoy. So, we did a few chores around the house, and then Tim suggested we go down to Highway 6 and 10 to pass out fresh socks and money to the homeless at his old stomping ground. The video of this adventure is horrible quality (we have devised a way to fix this since) and the audio's not great, but it gets really great at the end when Tim reconnects with his old friend Charles. If you are absolutely pressed for time, you can skip to the reunion at 12 minutes into the filming. Charles says: "Tim... I didn't even RECOGNIZE YOU"

Watch Pimp This Bum Visit the Streets For Thanksgiving

(Tim's friend Charles, click for video)

Tim and I felt like a million bucks after visiting the street. Our conversation turned to excitement as we discussed plans for PTB. It was a beautiful day, and we had a lot to be thankful for.

PTB's Next Participant

On our way back from Charles, we received a response back from a man in houston who needs our help. We will be meeting with this person early next week. We will be sharing more about this soon! It's just amazing how things work out sometimes. We were in a great mood.

We were looking for a place to sit back and celebrate such an awesome day. I offered to treat Tim to dinner, an offer he can't refuse (nor can I when it's reversed). So, we went out for Mexican food, to give the chat a little excitement. We broadcasted a bit past 8:00pm, and had a lovely chat while eating guacamole dip, and a live band in the background. Sorry for the poor audio again, :/.

As we wrapped up the chat and said goodnight, Tim got a tap on his shoulder. A man with authority in his voice said: "Hello, I'm from the city of Katy, are you the two gentelmen doing the international broadcast from this location?" Tim and I were completely confused. "Do you have a permit for this broadcast?" he continued. We couldn't say anything. . . we looked like idiots. Then he made a remark he made earlier on the chat, and Tim and I busted out laughing. It was "Bigfoothunter" (his screen-name), one of the long time members of the chat, who happens to be from Katy, Tx. He had popped in the chat for a moment, and then came to our location to prank us. He got us gooood. :)

The conversation became very serious, as "Bigfoothunger" began to express to us how important PTB has been for him. He told Tim how he had passed by him many times on highway 6, as it was on his route to work. His heart sank as he learned more about Tim, and he felt horrible for not having helped out more in the past. it was a wonderful PTB moment, and Bigfoot is one hell of a guy. The icing on the cake: he went ahead and got our meal for us. One cool dude.

("Bigfoothunter" on left, Tim on right. One of the few people taller than Tim)

Today, Saturday, Tim and I went to Katy Mills Mall. It wasn't quite Black Friday, but it was certainly packed. Tim got some clothes for the winter, and some cables for the Iphone (Paid for by Ustream.tv! Thank you!).

Thank you to all the PTB supporters. We know it's hard sometimes with all the BS that goes on from those with nothing better to do than try to bring a good thing down. PTB is going strong, and we can't thank you enough for all the support you've shown.

Be sure to check out DanFan's new Blog!

We'll update you soon after we meet with the newest PTB participant!

It's been a very productive week here at PTB!!!